Random Thoughts

I've just barely started my blog and I'm already slacking...seriously. Three times in one week - OH so bad!

I'm a seriously bad Catholic. Very very bad Catholic. My husband and I visit my parents almost every weekend (because we're pathetic and have found no new friends in Jacksonville). Mass in the town my parents live is at 8:00am! I am no morning person (i'm going to blame it on hypothyroidism...HA!) and I just can't drag myself out of the bed to go. Let's be honest, it's just an excuse. I don't feel the pull I used to. Obviously, I feel guilty about it, or I wouldn't be blogging about it. Being raised Mormon, we were told when we pray to THANK God for the good things in your life, and not just to ask for things. I know it's a good idea to have, we do need to thank God, but I feel like I only go to Mass or Church to ask or BEG for things. Whether it's for me, or someone else, I only ASK for things. I try to through in the things I'm thankful for, but only because I feel like I have to, in order to get my prayers answered. Like God won't answer my prayers, unless I thank him first. God doesn't answer my prayers because it's not his will, not because I'm not kneeling right, or saying the right things, or holding my mouth right.

I hope that made sense, because I'm not re-reading it. Sorry!

I do love my husband, and am grateful for everything and everyone in my life. My husband is loving and understanding. Sometimes I wonder if marrying a man 10 years older than me was wise, and then I realize he keeps me a little bit more grounded than anyone else would. He's wise enough to help me put things in prospective and for that I am grateful. I get my panties in a wad about the craziest things. I am a control freak and freak out when I can't control situations. As you all know, infertility does not go well with control. DANG IT!

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In cycle news, I'm on CD12. No sign of good CF yet. Hopefully ovulation will be soon, and the egg(s) I ovulate will be worth a damn!

Question, my husband is going to have a sperm analysis done. He is not at all excited about it. He is very worried about getting his sample in a licit way. I've read we can buy a non-lubricated condom and poke holes in it? Is that correct? Any other ideas? We've never used condoms together and it was a very LONG time ago that we used them with anyone else. I can see this turning into a disaster. I need help!