There has been a lot of deep thinking going on the blog world. IVF, embryos, birthcontrol, abortion, racism, etc.
It's all horrible in on way or another. However, I am apparently not that great a catholic.
Here are SOME of thoughts...
IVF - I wouldn't do it, but I have thought about it. And to be perfectly honest, if I wasn't married to a better man than me, I might. Desparation make people do crazy things. I'm just not sure. Since I am married to this husband of mine forever, there will be no IVF in my future. God knew me better than I did when he sent Bubba to me.
Embryos - I would consider doing embryo adoption. The babies are going to either die or stay frozen forever. What's wrong with giving them a loving home. Other than how they are created, how is it any different than adoption. *Although, there was an idea (on another blog) of having the mothers have the babies and give them up for adoption. That idea I kind of liked. But, we'd be forcing them to do it...and that's not right.
Birthcontrol - Again, I wouldn't do it. I've learned enough about my body to know when and how to not get pregnant. BUT, I do tell my step-son to use birthcontrol. He's 16 and he and his girlfriend have sex. Is it really that bad to encourage them to be safe about it. We've had the abstinance talk...but come on...we were all 16 at one time. It ain't gonna happen.
Abortion - Hate it. I still get torn sometimes between a womans right to choose and pro-life. I would NEVER ever do it, but I wonder who am I to tell someone else they can't. I know, not very Catholic of me.
Racism - there is no defending it, there is no rationalizing it. It is plain wrong. People are people are people. Black, white, brown...it doesn' matter. God made them all and loves them all.
There, I'm done. I know some of these view points will not be well recepted, however, I felt to need to get it all out there. I may regret this in about 10 minutes, but at that point it's too late.
I really don't know how to word this so that it does not seem like a direct attack. But I'm having this conversation with you friend to friend. I hope that you understand that. ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat if the condom breaks? Then what is the 16 year old boy to do with a possibly pregnant girlfriend? Is that when the morning after pill is okay? And would that be just in this situation only and then maybe he will have learned his lesson?...
Do you see where the pill takes God out of the situation and gives man all the control of when life will begin and when these man made barriers fail we go to the next extreme and say when life will end.
This is where the whole animalistic behavior comes into play. It's okay for a teenager who is using birth control, but it is not okay for a married couple not to use birth control and have many children. The 16 year needs to learn self mastery and if he doesn't learn it here in the comfort of home how will he stand in the real world, it can cause havoc in his years to come.
I can promise you that he is not fulfilled in the acts he is partaking in.
You are right we have all been 16 once but how does that still make it okay? At 16 does he have the financial and moral reasoning to be able to raise a child. Can he really understand that a baby and a decision last FOREVER. Does he know what forever means? But sex=babies, no matter how hard the contraception nation tries to make it otherwise.
And then if he doesn't and the girl has an abortion because they take their chances by not using the morning after pill, because now abortion is used if your bcp fails you. So then she deals with the horror of a past abortion. It will haunt her all the days of her life. I know woman whom have had abortions and still 25 years later cry and it haunts them. They still wake up in the middle of the night to their crying baby that should have been...When they look at the grown family and they know someone is missing.
I can tell you at 31 years old I already see where I fail as a mother and where I'm going to fail and I'm prepared as I will ever be.
The consequences of just using contraception is not one part. It is like a domino affect leading to the others.
It is about raising leaders of tomorrow. Strong solid Catholic men that raise the bar and are respectable. Not learning self mastery and letting a man run around and condoning it to have his way with women makes him a player and not a man. And do not take that the wrong way. I'm not talking about your baby. I'm saying in general because how many of us women have been played by the playas. A player only loves you when their playing.
Children, teens, people are inherently good. It is up to us as their parents to bring that out in them and feed them the truth. Give them the benefit of the doubt and trust that the truth will set them free.
I love your honesty, I really do, and I hope you don't mind an honest comment back. ;)
ReplyDeleteThe part about telling your stepson to use a condom. My first thought that came to mind was: please think of your soul and his soul first. Above any other consideration, even bodily health. He certainly can decide to use a condom if he wants (he has free will like everyone), and every teen I know is aware that they exist and what they are for. What a teen really needs is parents and adults who tell him the truth. I think teens can respect that, even if they still choose to do wrong.
Christian moral reasoning holds that we can never do evil (or council others to do evil) in order to bring about a good. Not only is the condom use objectively wrong, but it is facilitating the very serious sin of fornication (and these are kids we are talking about, on top of that).
Second, condoms are not "safe" sex, with regards to either pregnancy or disease. Even as a married woman who used to use condoms "responsibly" I can tell you that those condoms broke on more than one occasion! There is no safety in that, physically, emotionally and certainly spiritually.
And, it's not true that teens will inevitably have sex (or keep having sex). I have three teens and I know this to be true. Plenty of teens are abstaining, but we don't hear much about them. Still, they are a sizeable minority and (hopefully) growing.
I heartily recommend the DVD's called Theology of the Body for Teens. Great program. And Jason and Crystalina Evert's website is awesome for resources. I mean life-changing! They are at http://www.chastity.com/
God bless and thanks for the honest discussion! :)
I'll just touch on the abortion issue.
ReplyDeleteFirst, women do not have a "right to choose" any more than people have a right to choose to have slaves, or a right to choose to beat the hell out of their grandma.
There can never exist a "right" to evil or a right to an unlawful act. Every soul is cherished and desired and created by God. Further, every citizen of this nation is guaranteed the right to LIFE, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Roe v Wade was flawed, garbage legislation and everyone knows it. (PS Roe v Wade dealt solely with the right to privacy. It was NOT about the right to abortion.)
Secondly, who are you to say?
You are a Catholic Christian who is aware of the Truth of Jesus Christ, that's who. Would you not say something if you saw a teenager strike an elderly woman on the street? How about if you saw a mother beating her infant in a park? How about if you saw a man stealing a car?
You have every RIGHT to say something, and loudly. Women deserve to know that procuring an abortion means killing their child. Abortion doesn't make you a non-mother; it makes you the mother of a dead baby. (And often, brings other things such as an increased risk for breast cancer, suicide, etc.)
Some choice.
I am the adoptive mother of a child whose birth mother scheduled an abortion THREE times before she was talked out of it for good by people I do not know but to whom I owe everything. I thank God everyday that they were willing to tell her the Truth. (And one of them was a post-abortive young woman still suffering the trauma of her "choice.")
Who are you? You are a human being endowed with reason and a conscience.
We have not only the right but the obligation to defend innocent life whenever it is under attack.